Here’s the pitch:
It’s the year 2069. The Catholic, to prime itself for the coming battle for the soul of the universe, is nearing completion of its intergalactic space station, Vatican II. As they prepare to launch their new project, every member of the Catholic clergy convenes at a massive conference at the original Vatican. Alien suicide bombers, martyrs for their own alien religion, attack and destroy all of Vatican city, eviscerating all of the Catholic leadership.
Everyone, that is, except for the one clergy member who was not in attendance, space loser (in the Seth Rogan mold) Carlos Andreovich Kilronan Sanchez, who had earlier that week had completed a correspondence course at 3am when drunk that made him a certified Catholic priest.
"Vatican actual, this is Vatican II. Vatican actual, Do you read? VATICAN ACTUAL, DO YOU READ?!"
The night after the Vatican attack, Carlos is taken against his will by a group of female Catholic enthusiasts, so devout they refuse to take any leadership themselves, being women. Carlos is secreted away to space, to the still-under-construction Vatican II space station, where he is informed that he is the now the highest ranking member of the clergy, and thus the new pope.
Carlos is assigned a security detail, headed by the no-nonsense Lt. Fabrizzio Covington. The Lieutenant becomes Carlos’s comic foil as he first uses his newfound power to become an intergallactic playboy. He dubs himself Pope Awesome VI, and he holds wild papal parties (16th century-style) in his floating space-palace while generally ignoring his duties and followers.
Tough as nails Lieutenant of the Swiss Guard Space Division, Lieutenant Fabrizzio Covington
Carlos’s nonstop party is finally interrupted when it is discovered that the Mormons secretly reached space and converted an entire nearby star system to Mormonism in the year 2003. It was the Mormons who were behind the Vatican attack, and in Carlos’s negligence they have managed to take convert 99% of the Earth’s population. Worse yet, the remains of the former Pope have been discovered, and reanimated into a powerful cyborg who establishes his own papacy in Avignon.
Can Carlos survive the second Babylonian Captivity? Who revived this cyborg Pope? Are the rumors true that he is a Mormon sleepr agent? Are the Mormon overtures of peace merely a ploy to gain his trust? These questions and more will be answered in the thrilling third act.
This of it as King Ralph meets Battlestar Galactica meets The Tudors (that last one just on account of all the full frontal nudity). Watch for it summer of 2012.
